As I work through this sabbatical thing much of my focus has been on figuring out who I am and what I can do. As I play with this theme it is interesting to me the number of stories I have that limit or manage my choices:
I am not creative - I can't paint, sing, dance
I am not really a recruiter, I am better at process
I am overweight and not able to exercise
I am not about numbers or finance - I don't even know where all my money is
I am clumsy, lazy, disorganized, too fat, too old, too slow, out of touch, out of date,
I am not worthy of the successes in my life.
You won't find something else - just take anything you can get
This is as good at is gets
Work isn't meant to be fun
Wanting to be happy at work and make money is unreasonable.
When I step back to look at this list, I realize two things: these are mostly the voices of the people who want to hold me back (with the biggest finger pointed right at myself) and they are not true.
Sure, there may be kernels of truth inside each one, but really what they are is a collection of scripts I have created to hold me back from my true potential. I am creative - I may not be a world renowned artist but a big part of that is because I haven't tried. And I haven't tried because I am afraid. And as I start painting and doing art journalling I realize that the joy of creativity is not about the recognition from others but the feeling I get when I am in the middle of it. When I don't take the time to foster this creativity other parts of my life suffer.
I have a friend who I have always admired because she doesn't seem to have these same negative scripts running through her life. She has always seemed so strong and capable and not plagued by the negativity (note - this is my assumption, I have never talked to her about it). And she has achieved so much of what she has set out to do. What differentiates her from others is that she seems to start everything from a place of possibility. Instead of counting the reasons she can't do something, she lists all the reasons she can, and uses this as the foundation for achieving her goal.
As I do this work I need to remember that the negative voices and scripts only have power if I spend the time to listen to them. And right now I am too busy building my future to focus on the obstacles.
I am not creative - I can't paint, sing, dance
I am not really a recruiter, I am better at process
I am overweight and not able to exercise
I am not about numbers or finance - I don't even know where all my money is
I am clumsy, lazy, disorganized, too fat, too old, too slow, out of touch, out of date,
I am not worthy of the successes in my life.
You won't find something else - just take anything you can get
This is as good at is gets
Work isn't meant to be fun
Wanting to be happy at work and make money is unreasonable.
When I step back to look at this list, I realize two things: these are mostly the voices of the people who want to hold me back (with the biggest finger pointed right at myself) and they are not true.
Sure, there may be kernels of truth inside each one, but really what they are is a collection of scripts I have created to hold me back from my true potential. I am creative - I may not be a world renowned artist but a big part of that is because I haven't tried. And I haven't tried because I am afraid. And as I start painting and doing art journalling I realize that the joy of creativity is not about the recognition from others but the feeling I get when I am in the middle of it. When I don't take the time to foster this creativity other parts of my life suffer.
I have a friend who I have always admired because she doesn't seem to have these same negative scripts running through her life. She has always seemed so strong and capable and not plagued by the negativity (note - this is my assumption, I have never talked to her about it). And she has achieved so much of what she has set out to do. What differentiates her from others is that she seems to start everything from a place of possibility. Instead of counting the reasons she can't do something, she lists all the reasons she can, and uses this as the foundation for achieving her goal.
As I do this work I need to remember that the negative voices and scripts only have power if I spend the time to listen to them. And right now I am too busy building my future to focus on the obstacles.
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