Today is a day of immense gratitude.
I am beginning to realize that gratitude, or the state of being grateful is an active choice. And I am realizing that despite the superficial facade I try to present I am not really good at making the choice to be grateful. Even when I have said the words "It is for the best" or "I am grateful for the lesson" it was usually a lie. The good news is I have realized this and I am working on it.
As you know I am on my life sabbatical (a fancy term for being unemployed) meaning I have time to read and explore ideas (and surf the internet). Today I came across this quote and it stuck in my head enough that this post grew from it:
It makes me realize that I have so much. And I don't always appreciate it when it is there.
A friend from high school sent me a note this past week that blew my mind and I am still thinking about it days later. It reminded me of of the person I am going to call Sharon of Years Past (and truthfully days past). Unfortunately she does not always operate from a place of gratitude. So often she operates from a place which was focused on what was missing from her life. And striving for what seems unattainable.
Here is a good example that still plays out in my life today:
I am sure others felt this but for me High School was a time of loneliness and awkwardness. My biggest lament was that I didn't have a friends forever BFF. It seemed that everyone had a very best friend but me - they were all paired off in an unbreakable bond of friendship that left me feeling like a 3rd wheel. And a bit left out and lonely. In fact there were times when I felt that I didn't really even have a friend. This may be a bit morbid (or a signal of my future depression diagnosis) but I would sometimes think about my funeral and try and figure out how many people would actually come.
Because I couldn't be grateful for what I had there are so many people whose friendships I missed out on because I was too shy or self- absorbed to see how wonderful they were (and still are). Because I was so focused on what I didn't have I missed out on what I did have - or what I could have had. The remarkable, smart, funny people who were in my life that I wasn't grateful for.
What I failed to realize at the time (and still forget sometimes now) is that I am blessed with so many wonderful friends and the only thing stopping me from a deeper friendship with them was me.
Fortunately for me (and probably despite me) I am glad to say that many of these wonderful people are still with me in my life. They live across the world and some of them are friends dating back to grade school. Today I am consciously acknowledging that they can be my friends for a lot longer if I do the work to maintain the friendships with them. And don't get bogged down in imagined slights and feelings of not being good enough.
The easiest way to do this is to be grateful for these people and the many gifts that are in my life. So one of my Year of Sharon resolutions is that I am working on coming from a place of gratitude. And begin grateful for the wonderful life I have. In the spirit of another high school friend who recently filled her Facebook timeline with her gratitude I will begin here:
Today I am grateful that:
The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. I went for a long walk, bought some wonderful fresh vegetables and made a delicious soup.
I am in Vancouver spending glorious quality time with two of my oldest and dearest friends and their families as well as reconnecting with other friends I haven't seen in years.
A old friend got wonderful news about a serious medical condition. And my cousin is getting to hug her mother for the first time in over a year.
I am the Aunt to 7 biological and countless more chosen nieces and nephews. I have brothers I adore, a SIL who has brought happiness to a broken family and two of the best dogs in the world.
And I have all these great friendships that have rocked my world, even if they only lasted for a very short time.
I am beginning to realize that gratitude, or the state of being grateful is an active choice. And I am realizing that despite the superficial facade I try to present I am not really good at making the choice to be grateful. Even when I have said the words "It is for the best" or "I am grateful for the lesson" it was usually a lie. The good news is I have realized this and I am working on it.
As you know I am on my life sabbatical (a fancy term for being unemployed) meaning I have time to read and explore ideas (and surf the internet). Today I came across this quote and it stuck in my head enough that this post grew from it:
We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather from recognizing and appreciating what we do have. - Fredrick Keonig
It makes me realize that I have so much. And I don't always appreciate it when it is there.
A friend from high school sent me a note this past week that blew my mind and I am still thinking about it days later. It reminded me of of the person I am going to call Sharon of Years Past (and truthfully days past). Unfortunately she does not always operate from a place of gratitude. So often she operates from a place which was focused on what was missing from her life. And striving for what seems unattainable.
Here is a good example that still plays out in my life today:
I am sure others felt this but for me High School was a time of loneliness and awkwardness. My biggest lament was that I didn't have a friends forever BFF. It seemed that everyone had a very best friend but me - they were all paired off in an unbreakable bond of friendship that left me feeling like a 3rd wheel. And a bit left out and lonely. In fact there were times when I felt that I didn't really even have a friend. This may be a bit morbid (or a signal of my future depression diagnosis) but I would sometimes think about my funeral and try and figure out how many people would actually come.
Because I couldn't be grateful for what I had there are so many people whose friendships I missed out on because I was too shy or self- absorbed to see how wonderful they were (and still are). Because I was so focused on what I didn't have I missed out on what I did have - or what I could have had. The remarkable, smart, funny people who were in my life that I wasn't grateful for.
What I failed to realize at the time (and still forget sometimes now) is that I am blessed with so many wonderful friends and the only thing stopping me from a deeper friendship with them was me.
Fortunately for me (and probably despite me) I am glad to say that many of these wonderful people are still with me in my life. They live across the world and some of them are friends dating back to grade school. Today I am consciously acknowledging that they can be my friends for a lot longer if I do the work to maintain the friendships with them. And don't get bogged down in imagined slights and feelings of not being good enough.
The easiest way to do this is to be grateful for these people and the many gifts that are in my life. So one of my Year of Sharon resolutions is that I am working on coming from a place of gratitude. And begin grateful for the wonderful life I have. In the spirit of another high school friend who recently filled her Facebook timeline with her gratitude I will begin here:
Today I am grateful that:
The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. I went for a long walk, bought some wonderful fresh vegetables and made a delicious soup.
I am in Vancouver spending glorious quality time with two of my oldest and dearest friends and their families as well as reconnecting with other friends I haven't seen in years.
A old friend got wonderful news about a serious medical condition. And my cousin is getting to hug her mother for the first time in over a year.
I am the Aunt to 7 biological and countless more chosen nieces and nephews. I have brothers I adore, a SIL who has brought happiness to a broken family and two of the best dogs in the world.
And I have all these great friendships that have rocked my world, even if they only lasted for a very short time.
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